:: a.whisper.in.water ::

:: Friday, December 05, 2003 ::

[ are you giving in, 2000 man? ]

Nothing is fucked. Everything is fine. Everything is going well, and I haven't had any problems, save convincing you that I haven't had any problems. I know if you give it a moment's thought you can understand why I'd be upset about Kevin, knowing what he's come to symbolize. James doesn't symbolize it anymore, and Nexus is Safe. And I trust you. I can hold on to things like that. And it eats me sometimes that you can't, or that you don't. We're not so different, we both need our constant reassuring, but it's too much sometimes, too discouraging to go on without smoking your brand of cloves out the window and trying very hard to keep you from hearing teardrops hit my keyboard.

I'm doing everything you're asking me to. You're beautiful. You're gorgeous. I have more memories of you than anyone else, barring family for insurance's sake, though I don't doubt that you're giving them a serious run for their money. And most of it makes me sickeningly happy. I can't play bookworm without smiling. I gave you every album I could scrap together that thrilled me, plus a few that I knew you should have. I spend so much of my time trying to coax you to ASK me for something so I can give it to you. I just wish it mattered more that this was nothing, that I would gladly give you everything I had if I knew that it would be received, and not forgotten at the drop of a name. I'm doing everything you're asking me to.

Did you love this world? / And did this world not love you?

I'm not going to run. I promised I'd be fine. I need your help. Now's the time for it to stick. I'm begging. Again.

:: Aziz 5:08 AM [+] ::
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