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:: Thursday, September 09, 2004 ::
[ farewell, you simple, gorgeous thing... ]
The humorously-bad picture of a cat that appears now and again as my LiveJournal icon is of a grey delight named Lily. She's Jenn's cat, and has been long before ever since I came to know Jenn. She's probably as close to a cat that knew me as one of the family as I've ever had: she sleeps on my legs when I'm over and doesn't mind keeping me company when I'm lounging around.
She's, um...gone now.
Her health began deteriorating during the summer, and came to a head towards the end of August. Cysts wouldn't stay drained, constricting pressure would constantly return to major nerve endings and such, and constant trips to the vet saw no improvement. Reportedly, last night she sought out a quiet dark corner, the way animals will do when they sense their time coming. So, her last trip to the vet after a number of painful ones ought to come as a relief to her; she's ready, and there's a wrenchingly sad comfort in that.
How do you contextualize the passing of your girlfriend's adorable forever-kitten? It's clichéd and maudlin to anthropomorphize pets to excess, but we treasure pets for their human characteristics, as well as their animal virtues. Grand notions of meeting up with a pet in heaven, or sensing them trotting alongside you seems somewhat overblown and Hallmark (TM), but grief is real, and cats are loved.
Reductively: it breaks my heart to know that I'll Never See Her Again, that I'll never walk through the door of Jenn's house fresh off an Amtrak and hear Jenn calling her (cats do wonderful things to her voice), that I'll never again see Lily hop up onto the sink and compel me to turn on the water so she can drink straight from the faucet. I'm really going to miss her, and there's not a thing I can do about it.
G'bye, Lil...and thanks for simply being who/what you were. Pass on loved and comforted, safe and sound.
Music: Slowdive - When The Sun Hits. The Cure's phenomenal Wish made use of a mournful, thin metallic guitar sound that accompanied the rush of guitar so characteristic of Shoegaze. This song puts it to better use than almost any song off that album.
:: Aziz 5:03 PM [+] ::
...
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